Let me just start with the questions you’ve asked:
I would say based on the track you sent me you’ve got a bit better understanding of some of these principles than you’re giving yourself credit for - that probably comes from intuition you've built up playing "normal" instruments haha. To me, it seems you've got all the pieces there for a track and the different sections are both varied and cohesive. The problems, I think, are that their order and length seems semi-random and the transitions don't feel impactful enough.
For the former issue, you mention you have the Making Music book. One of my favorite tricks in there is to load an existing track in your genre into Live, warp it, then create markers for each of the sections like "Chorus", "Verse", "Pre-chorus" (or "drop", "build", "breakdown", etc. if you prefer). Then delete the track you imported and try to fill in the skeleton of the markers with your own material. I think that's a pretty good way to take some of the pressure off these decisions (since you're working from a proven structure) and let you work within some rules. It might also remind or inspire you to create necessary sections you might not have otherwise.
For the second issue, I think that comes down to two things - dynamics and highlights. In terms of dynamics, there's not a lot of variation between sections except the adding and removing of tracks; they all feel about as heavy and driving. The problem is, the listener generally perceives how heavy and driving a section is by how much more heavy and driving a section is. In other words, its a fairly constant comparison. Try skipping around to different sections of your track - there's some variation in timbre and instrumentation, but its almost a static line of high energy and "fullness". Try creating more of a contrast in the energy levels of your sections, especially in terms of the kick so we can appreciate how hard it hits when it does.
To connect them, try giving us more signposts of what to expect. Start with really dramatic, cheesy builds of white noise or rising pitch for the ~16 bars before a drop. See how many ways you can make cymbal crash sounds with reverb or white noise as each big section drops. Try a resonant high pass filter that slowly climbs right before the drop hits. Cut the drums for the bar or two before the drop. In other words, just let us know its coming, give us something to get excited for. My recommendation is to work off a copy of your project and just try the most extreme and wild versions of these techniques and just see what that unlocks. Try a 4 bar riser before every drop, then try to extend them to an 8 bar riser, then a 16, etc. and just see what feels right.
I think you've done a good job choosing sounds, just perhaps not with highlighting them. That kick drum is really full and loud - that doesn't leave a lot of room for the other instruments you have. Listening to the references you provided, they have a strong, thumpy bass, but throw some bold, mid-range heavy sounds in their for accents and energy. My single biggest concern with your track is lack of midrange:
You could be using the bass to fill in that pretty big gap in the 2k region, and with the kick turned down I think you'd already be off to a better mix.
One of the things I like to do that might help you is to get the basics of a track and arrangement together, as you've done here, and then go a away for a little while. Put it on ice for a day or week. Then, I open the project without listening to it, pull all the faders down, and then listen to about 3 or 4 tracks I want it to sound good with. Immediately after, I start listening to my project and raising the faders, preferably not starting with my drums. I'm almost always able to get them to a better spot after that. Give this a try with your own mix and compare it to your original bounce - see if you don't put the bass quite a bit higher than it is now.
3. Work order
I can't give too much useful advice for work order, since this varies greatly person-to-person. For the most part, I wouldn't really too much, especially if you don't have any hard deadlines you're working with. In my mind, if you get lost spending an hour listening to different hi-hats, you're that much further along in getting familiar with hi-hats. I would take advantage of any inspiration and curiosity you have and not worry too much about the tangible outcomes of those explorations. That's just me, personally, however.
There's definitely an argument to be made for the opposite - define rules, create artificial deadlines, and force yourself to work within those. Try setting a clock and saying "at the end of 20 minutes, I have to have all the drums I'm allowed to use for this track" and don't write any more drums after that. "At the end of 20 minutes, I have to use the melody I have". "At the end of 10 minutes, whatever bass loop I have is my bass". That's one way to create limitations for yourself. Another might be to choose 1 or 2 samples and commit to making a full track using only those. You learn a lot about the nature of kick drums from having to make one from a vocal sample, for example, and learn a lot of useful tricks for shaping your hihats if you have to twist a bass synth into them. Try making some of those challenges for yourself and see what's useful. Maybe even make a journal to keep track of your breakthroughs and "things you've learned".